are-you-living-your-dream-428352-84578

“I want to do this”

.. is my standard reply to the question, “Why do you want to go for a PhD? Kya hoga aage padh ke? Kya zaroorat hai ye sab karne ki?”

Trust me when I say I get this a lot because I do get this a lot. Relatives, mostly people who have never studied, come and tell me “It is time to get married” :P … I have thrown my share of tantrums and had my share of fights with my parents for so much as bringing this up and I think I am now going to just give up answering and become temporarily deaf and start behaving like the ostrich who thinks the world doesn’t see it when it digs its head inside the ground. And at last, when they are done with their uninvited, uncalled for and unasked lecture/advice, I will just say “This is what I want to do in my life. I want to see a Dr. before my name. I want to study and study a lot. And teach too. I want to be an interesting teacher, a passionate teacher whose students don’t hate her just for existing. I have dared to know what I want for myself and I am going to go and dare to achieve it. And, I am most certainly not going to just impose myself on a stranger of a man before finding myself.” I am so sure that I will have to say it so many more times that I will have a signature face (like poker face) and people will understand my answer without me saying anything :P . As if marriage is your only aim in life if you are born in an Indian family.

You know, this rant could go on forever. But that was not the point of my post. Let me share a story with you.

I was returning from my Zumba class one evening. I had just started with them and was struggling with my stamina. A one hour class would leave me half dead & I still had to make it to home! My trainer asked if I needed a lift till half way and I gladly hopped in. Satyaki & I started talking about normal stuff : Dance, acquaintances, routines, dance festivals, health tips etc. She told me she had at least three zumba sessions each day (I couldn’t live through one). She talked about a typical day in her life. Take three mondays and put in a tuesday and half a wednesday; that’s what her sunday is like. I asked her how she manages. She said something really simple but inspiring. She said, “This is the life I chose for myself. I wanted to dance. I can’t and I am not complaining. It has not been easy. And it isn’t easy still. But it is always worth it. It always has been. I dance all the day, on most of the days. I wanted to do this!” She also mentioned about taking small naps whenever possible to save energy though. But that’s secondary :P

At times, it is very difficult. Because not everything that you come across on your way to becoming what you want to become will involve doing what you want to do. That’s the weight of the choices you make. I struggle too. It isn’t always sunshine. But I have come to like little bit of rains too. When it is raining, sometimes I choose to do nothing and enjoy the rain. Helps me get back to my stuff with a better mood. Of course when it rains too much, there is water logging (streets of Kolkata; what else would you expect) which is annoying. But that’s again not the point. Too much digression happening. Sheh!

But, I am in love with my dream, in love with me wanting to achieve this. And this helps me get up everyday and fight to protect my dream from my own crazy lazy couch potato self, helps me to do a few things which I never enjoyed doing. What you gonna do! Barter system. Give and take. Kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padegaa… I give up too. I get lost too. But then, it never lasts for more than 10 minutes. Because then I start giving gyaan to some other depressed friend of mine and come up with shit like this :

Being lost at times is okay.
Just, never give up on finding yourself back.

And I bounce back well in time :)

In Retrospect… The last few months

The last few months, to be honest, have been quite eventful. A whirlwind ride… some absolutely wonderful new entries, some major setbacks… failures, successes…. in all, a memorable journey; an album worth watching in flashback…

Summing up those eventful events, in case I wish to get back to them. Which, I know i will :)

1) Made few wonderful friends… Friendships I will cherish for more than a lifetime.

2) Screwed the most important exam of my life… In the course, screwed a few other things that I should have cared for, for life… Bah !! Life’s most important exam is LIFE itself. And no body screws it :) even if they want to.

3) Found my long lost love, my writing coming back to me. One of the best things that happened so far. Wrote a few things that will keep inspiring me for days to come. Yes ! Some of my own pieces make me smile… :)

4) Learned the importance of caring for a few people more than yourself… learned the importance/ beauty of being meticulous in relationships. Total awesomeness.

5) It was pure chance and randomness that led to me understanding what I want to do in life. And thank God I understood… it makes a huge part of me hassle free, clears loads of things.

6) Learned that good things do happen; sometimes just out of the blue. Did well(better than expected I mean) in XAT. Unexpected. Got a call from XIMB. Even more unexpected… The story continues though… Wait for the upcoming points :)

 7) XIMB diaries- Slogged like anything to try and convert. But. Did. Not. :( …And, that is when I realised two very important truths about my life- There is a bigger plan for me and there is a 24×7 awesome friend for me :) … Dost, I promise lifetime servitude :)

8 ) Started working for the first time :) And I am absolutely loving the experience. Though, I do realise that I am not meant for it… Realizations galore !! :)

9) One of my best achievements, my Facebook Vocabulary group got deleted. Screw FB damn. It had 4000 members which we had religiously and laboriously accumulated over a period of one year. Bah !!.. Does this stop us ? NO… The Vocab Dhaba is very much there… and going strong :)

10) The latest one- took a decision. Not many liked it. But, thank God for giving me the strength to stick to it. I will make sure that it happens the way I have thought about it… Just be with me through thick and thin.

In short… in the last few months, I came to know who I really AM…

Just one suggestion- Finding yourself. It is the most exciting treasure hunt you can ever indulge into… much better than indulging yourself into the lesser intricacies of life.

Goan Diaries: Prelude :)

Go Goa !!!… Go Goa !!!… Go Goa… !!!

I suppose it’s friends and beaches that have the maximum lure for me :) … Absolutely adorable; beaches are :) . And, this is the pre- Goa experience. M to post a post- Goa update post Goa..haha :P

And, m still to locate my stuff from every nook and corner of my room and m still to pack and m still to do this and that… Disorientation @ it’s peak I swear… I guess that’s me.

And, now comes my list of anticipations… It’s a beautiful amalgamation of Goa calling and life calling (results due this week :( ).. and I anticipate-

- not because Laveen wants me to drink (ass)

- not because Yatish thinks I’ll meditate on the beach (moron)

- not because Shakti thinks I’ll be studying there (as if )

- not because I’m excited about my wardrobe (or rather, suitcase :P )

But because…it’s a phone call that decides my fate…

Goa..ain’t I looking forward to you so much :) :)

Fingers crossed… Here I come …Yo !!!

So Jaaon Main …. :)

Perfect for nocturnal people like me… a refuge wherein I hide… trying to find an excuse for not wanting to work and not wanting to sleep… and not wanting to do anything else whatsoever…

To whom I dedicate this song, I don’t know… Beautiful song anyway :) Enjoying it for the 5th time in a row now. For the Bollywoodly challenged people, it belongs to the awesome movie “Wo Lamhe” which, unfortunately, doesn’t have very awesome people… Blah!! Enjoy the song :)

So jaaon main…tum agar

Mere khwaabon mein aao…mere khwaabon mein aao

Kho jaaon main…Tum agar

Meri yaadon mein aao…meri yaadon mein aao

Jaagi nazar mein, soyi nazar mein…

Har pal sanam tum..jhilmilaao…

So jaaon main……..tum agar…..

Well honestly, no harm in listening to a song as a break from the rail budgets and the consecutive uprisings, is there??

Meri khushi mein..shaamil raho tum…

Is zindagi mein…shaamil raho tum…

Yoon toh hain laakhon armaan dil mein

Mehfil mein jaan-e-mehfil raho tum…

Hothon se mere…shaam savere..yunhi sanam tum

Muskurao…. :)

So jaaon main….

You know..falling in love is not so bad. Till the time it inspires you to move ahead and be a better person, it’s totally worth it… Unfortunately, it happens the other way round. I don’t the flip side of the coin; the one that makes people lose their smiles and move around like zombies. Love is a beautiful feeling and loved ones must always be cherished…a memory that makes you smile…. and that inspires the next few lines…

Banke sitara…aankhon mein chamko

In aate jaate…saanso mein meheko…

Bas jaao aake..tum meri jaan mein…

Dil banke mere..seene mein dhadko…

tumko mujhko chaho..bas mujhko chaho…

saare jahaan ko bhool jaao…

So jaaon main…. :)

Here’s the video ….well, just the audio :P

 

 

Surprised how a few songs don’t make me sleepy even after 10th straight play in a row. Guess I am crediting the wrong person after all. Maybe it’s my sleep that has ditched me today…

On a second thought, I would like to fall in love this way… but on a third thought, I have ages before this happens. Robert’s words in my style-

“Miles to go before I sleep (read love)

Miles to go before I sleep (read sleep) ”

Abhi dil bhara hua hai… haha… enough to love at the moment. I love sheila :) (voice of all singles)… Wish I see a dream and see exactly what I want to see…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..



Thank you lord :)

Extremely happy today I am :) . Reasons:

1) The most awesomest news of the year… got a call from XIMB. yippeee :D

2) Made a few people proud with this small little achievement that will shape my life. I will convert it for you.

More than mine, it is an achievement for those who felt proud that I did it…who really wanted me to get through. I owe it to your prayers and wishes that were there 24×7 like a fort warding off the negativity and lethargy of dreams. I am reminded of these lines. But before, a big thank you to the person who gave me these lines which have, kind of, become the lines of my life

“lehron se darr kar nauka paar nahi hoti,

himmat karne waalon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti,

nanhi cheeti jab daana lekar chadhti hai,

chadhti deewaron par sau baar fisalti hai,

mann ka vishwaas rago mein sahas bharta hai,

gir kar chadhna, chadh kar girna…haan akharta hai,

aakhir uski mehnat bekaar nahi hoti,

koshish karne waalon ki haar nahi hoti…


doobkiyaan sindhu mein gotakhor lagatey hain,

ja ja kar khali haath laut aate hain,

milte naa sahaj hi moti paani mein,

behta duguna utsah isi hairani mein,

mutthi uski khaali har baar nahi hoti,

himmat karne waalon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti.

 

asafalta ek chunauti hai, sweekar karo…

kya kami reh gayi, dekho aur sudhaar karo,

jab tak naa ho safal, neend chain ki tyaago tum…

sangharshon ka maidan, chod mat bhaago tum

kuch kiye bina hi jay jay kar nahi hoti

himmat karne waalon ki kabhi haar nahi hoti…”

More than anything, I have learned the power of not giving up- on my happiness, on my efforts, on my smile, on my life… I will make sure this happiness stays…this pride and the smiles that I accidentally brought on to a few faces, stays. For all the trust and love… thank God for the wonderful people and the wonderful moments u have given me…nothing else I ask of u :) …just these thank yous I have.

CAT Diaries

sitting for CAT…bass 3 din aur (i tried putting a smiley but could not find the exact one that would depict my state at the moment)

my journey began last year…seems like i wasted a lot of time not studying for it. but, there is no use crying over spilled milk…even Rowling’s magic won’t be able to bring it back to the bowl. but it has been nice never the less…career launcher has been a great milestone in my acad journey….not sure whether i’ll be able to get through this year or not. but, the association has been wonderful. more then the ratios and proportions of numbers, i got to know the angles and theorems that cover life…

met some wonderfully wonderful people on my way…people who changed the way i look at life…great teachers who motivated and inspired, who emphasized the importance of not giving up the fight…

these lines have always fascinated me

” stick to the fight when you are hardest hit,

it’s when things are worst that you must not quit, rest if u must but do not quit”

and..i have understood this better than ever with CL.

the events, the workshops, the teaching sessions…they are experiences and memories. moments that taught me the importance of wholesome learning, of intellect and knowledge and not mere knowing…that told me where i stand in the midst of all this (nowhere…no wholesome learning :P )

some friendships strengthened during this journey…some instances that have become eternal. though i never quite enjoyed studying for CAT, i liked the peregrination that i did, from knowing nothing to knowing something.

3 days from now, life won’t be very different. the sun will be the same, the sky will be the same, the breaths will be same. it is a test of not what i know but who i am…and that ‘who’ part takes a lifetime to develop. so…it will let me know where i need to go in life..it will tell me how i will reach that point…waiting for the kill..that will let me understand me better, understand life better :)

 

The Secrets of Success

disclaimer: it has been picked up from a video by career launcher…not my creation. i just happen to like it :)

success is about making a pass at opportunity,

success is about victory but not without learning,

success is about being comfortable in discomfort,

success is about fighting the urge to give up,

guts, sweat and blood mean success…it is not a coincidence, success is a MIND GAME.

success is not just about winning. it’s about starting the game and finishing it.

success is about you vs yourself!!!

success is about feeling dizzy with achievement

success is not just achieving your dreams but realizing your potential on the way

if you have never failed…u have never lived…

and here is the video :)

Teachings…

you teach me to laugh…..you teach me to cry
you teach me to live…..you teach me to die

you teach me to love with all my heart
you teach me to hate with all my love

the limits of the sky…..the depth of the sea
you teach me to be..everything i want to be

the constant struggle…the never ending troubles
‘ go beyond the vistas..m there if u wobble’

you teach me the value…of failed expectations
you teach me the profoundness..of ideal inspirations

but most of all..u teach my life
it needs to be lived to the full size
you teach me so much..it brings in humility
it brings in respect…joy and humanity

….i thank all those people in my life who have taught me something or the other..this is for u guys…