Rising & Shining !

In between my old notes, I found a new poem; had written it ages ago…

The weight of failure,                                                           
Seems too much to take
I wish to rise
A phoenix; from ashes & flakes…

Expectations, unexpectations…
Too abstruse to simplify
I’m still so mired..
All I want is to fly…

Yet, Thank you God so much
For the beautiful people u gave
Eternal bliss is the power of inspiration
No more I’m sad, no more I’m grave…

To err is human
I kept telling all
To forget is human too
I forgot during pall…

For all those who stood by
It’s a beautiful gesture
A thank you for things so many…
You make my life, every moment, better

The sheer faith you have
I would do it for you
Things will be more than better
Beautiful & Simple too…
Just for YOU !

…………………………………………………………

KEEP IT SIMPLE SILLY :)

 

To God – With love…

In giving u my strongest faith,                      
I am giving u my utmost care. 

In giving u my utmost care, 
I am giving u my deepest love. 

In giving u my deepest love, 
I am giving u my best self, 

In giving u my best self, 
I am giving u my only God, 

In giving u my only God, 
I am giving u my soul, my existence... my creation

My prayers are all I have for u…

To God, with love :)

 

Life’s own life- A quick recap of my existence…

… And still miles and miles to cover. (Sleep is a sensitive and touchy topic… I would rather not touch upon it. It will open the pandora’s box for my mom :) )

THE GIFTS THAT LIFE GAVE ME :)

Honestly, when I look back, there are so so many reference points, things that I would like to change, things I would rather they never happened… and of course, things that I cherish for life. Yet, as an ‘of late’ realization frenzy, I do have a few ”Learnings from my Journeyings as well :) (Do go through the link… it will help) and ( I will keep it at 5 and not bore you my readers)

1) I M POSSIBLE

Maths is something I absolutely hated. I still do. And I always will. I failed in my maths paper when in a lower level of schooling ( Class 3.. just imagine :P .. thank God it was a half yearly). This is my earliest recollection of what I consider failure. Wait !! After every failure there is success. I worked hard, my mom worked harder after me and we did it !! Though it might sound like an ‘Ekta Kapoor’ telesoap type story, i did get a cent percent in MATHEMATICS in my finals… Yo !! I see the lesson- Nothing is impossible if you work really really hard for it.

Though mathematics still invokes that one word response from me- IMPOSSIBLE (my responses have been very graciously strengthened by the tame menace by the name ‘ENTRANCE EXAMS’ :P ).. yet, now I can tackle it. One big failure (it was big for me) and one bigger success later, I am sure that I don’t have to fear it. It’s just that I don’t really like it. There are better things in the world around.

2) DO WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO- YOU ARE BOUND TO BE GOOD AT IT

Literature !! My all time, any day favourite. I never really made an effort to study it. Came more out of liking and mostly out of reading habit. And, I realise that I am good at it because I like it. I like words and the way they connect to give meaning to our deepest and most unfathomable feelings. And that is the reason why I like writing so much. I write almost everywhere, on pen and paper during flights or trains and on phone drafts otherwise.

Between the clouds :)

It is important to keep a record of any good idea you have. You never know which idea changes your life.

3) SIMPLICITY AND HUMBLENESS- KEY TO GOOD LIFE

From being overtly extravagant and demanding to being just the opposite (it disappoints my father sometimes), it has been a journey of self realization. I am really thankful to God that I understood it earlier than most other people; the quality of humbleness and simplicity.All the simple people i know are exceptionally beautiful… I want to be beautiful too… :)

Life is not a rocket science. True… I learned a lot of good values in life from my teacher back at school. Through his childhood stories, he made a better adult out of many of us. He taught us the power of sacrifice for only that brings in long term satisfaction. I like a quote from the movie “16 December” v much- Love is that monument which is built on the foundation of silent sacrifices. Look around. Your parents make sacrifices for you all the time. Your siblings make sacrifices for you all the time. If we do something selflessly for someone, that is the highest sacrifice and the best possible love that you can do. Be humble. Be motivated . Be inspired. Do the same to other people.

I can say that it is the TEACHERS in my life who have made me what I am today. Not just school/ college teachers, there have been friends, best friends, stories, situations, instances… all of them.

4) ADDICTION = NO NO… NOT AT ALL

People addiction is a personal matter. But, material addiction is a cardinal sin in my eyes. I cannot tolerate it at all. The cigarette smoke makes me cough like mads, the stench of alcohol makes me shrink my nose. And, people falling over each other after being sloshed makes me want to go push them in the Ganges ( paap dho lo paapiyon !! ).

I remember burning my little finger due to a cigarette stub when I was a child. That day I thought, “Jab bahar itna jalta hai, toh andar toh aag lag jaati hogi “… Now I have a different theory. These addicts are experimenting on the concept of “SPONTANEOUS SELF COMBUSTION”. Ever heard those ‘mad scientist’ stories. Reminds me of these people..
But, these people will always say… “chal pade hain dekho yaaron dhuen mein udaa ke… Jaane kya hoga raama re… ” Let me tell you- kuch nahi hoga. Except for the fact that you turn up into a pile of ashes earlier than u are supposed to. Ok..no point talking to the hands.

5) BELIEVE IN GOD. HE IS THE BEST OPTION/ THE ONLY OPTION YOU HAVE

I was never a devout. Then, things started turning around. I am still not a devout in the traditional and contextual terms. But, I so believe in God. More than on any other thing. I do believe that HE is HELPING. From which side, I don’t know.. but I am sure He is… And, that is what matters.

If a belief simplifies things, why not ?

If a belief makes you a better person, why not?

If a belief makes you appreciate the real beauty, why not?

If a belief makes you know who you are, why not ?… Go for that belief. Go for that GOD power. Go for that true self, that YOURSELF. :)

—————————————————————————–

OK. Enough of lecturing. My 21 years sure had no work- ex but sure had some life-ex and some full of life experiences. Life has given me the best gift- a peek into LIFE’S OWN LIFE.

Life tells me- “I am Beautiful…But I won’t last forever. So, cherish me. “ :)

Happy Birthday to me (21st May)…

An Interpretation of Love

Exam time = Blogging + Movies …. Yep !! That pretty much sounds like me :P

Saw one of my all time favorites yesterday- ‘A Walk to Remember’

And yeah you can guess what’s coming up next, the famous few lines ‘Love is… ‘ Though this is not what I was thinking would be my next post, nevertheless, the lines are beautiful.. And I have my own interpretations…Here-

Love is always patient and kind
It is never jealous
Love is never boastful, nor conceited
It is never rude or selfish..

It does not take offense
It is not resentful
Love takes no pleasure… in other people’s sins
It delights in truth

It is always ready to excuse..
…. to trust
…..to hope
…..and to endure

Whatever comes…..

So true and moving these lines are… And I have a thousand interpretations (exaggeration :) )

But, my favorite one is-

“Love is a wonderful wonderful feeling. Something that was perhaps created to make our lives simpler, happier, more peaceful. A bridge that was supposed to bridge our being and wanting to be something. It was supposed to teach us virtues like patience and kindness, resentlessness and the beauty of selflessness. Love was supposed to show us how delightful it is to be happy in the happiness of the ‘people’ we love ( It never was/ is/ never will be about just that one person… naah !! not possible). Among many other goodness enriched qualities, what makes it most beautiful is that teaches us Life.”

Yet, when we look around, we find that most of our woes arise from/ due to this love. It sounds as if God’s wonderful plan backfired. Love was supposed to ease those furrowed brows in times of woes, not be the reason behind them.

Is not Letting Go another beautiful face of love. Try it… it surely works. Love is beautiful. Experience it with open palms. Closing them tight will hurt no one else but you.

In Retrospect… The last few months

The last few months, to be honest, have been quite eventful. A whirlwind ride… some absolutely wonderful new entries, some major setbacks… failures, successes…. in all, a memorable journey; an album worth watching in flashback…

Summing up those eventful events, in case I wish to get back to them. Which, I know i will :)

1) Made few wonderful friends… Friendships I will cherish for more than a lifetime.

2) Screwed the most important exam of my life… In the course, screwed a few other things that I should have cared for, for life… Bah !! Life’s most important exam is LIFE itself. And no body screws it :) even if they want to.

3) Found my long lost love, my writing coming back to me. One of the best things that happened so far. Wrote a few things that will keep inspiring me for days to come. Yes ! Some of my own pieces make me smile… :)

4) Learned the importance of caring for a few people more than yourself… learned the importance/ beauty of being meticulous in relationships. Total awesomeness.

5) It was pure chance and randomness that led to me understanding what I want to do in life. And thank God I understood… it makes a huge part of me hassle free, clears loads of things.

6) Learned that good things do happen; sometimes just out of the blue. Did well(better than expected I mean) in XAT. Unexpected. Got a call from XIMB. Even more unexpected… The story continues though… Wait for the upcoming points :)

 7) XIMB diaries- Slogged like anything to try and convert. But. Did. Not. :( …And, that is when I realised two very important truths about my life- There is a bigger plan for me and there is a 24×7 awesome friend for me :) … Dost, I promise lifetime servitude :)

8 ) Started working for the first time :) And I am absolutely loving the experience. Though, I do realise that I am not meant for it… Realizations galore !! :)

9) One of my best achievements, my Facebook Vocabulary group got deleted. Screw FB damn. It had 4000 members which we had religiously and laboriously accumulated over a period of one year. Bah !!.. Does this stop us ? NO… The Vocab Dhaba is very much there… and going strong :)

10) The latest one- took a decision. Not many liked it. But, thank God for giving me the strength to stick to it. I will make sure that it happens the way I have thought about it… Just be with me through thick and thin.

In short… in the last few months, I came to know who I really AM…

Just one suggestion- Finding yourself. It is the most exciting treasure hunt you can ever indulge into… much better than indulging yourself into the lesser intricacies of life.

:(

i feel so afraid at times. all these exams i have taken…i realise that i don’t like any of it. this is not what i want to do…my music and my instrument have mismatched…big time. and m not liking it…at all.

where does my interest lie?…certainly not in solving stupidly useless mathematical problems…who cares if a pipe gets emptied in the umpteenth moment…sucker!! but, do i know what i want to do??…confusion hi confusion hai…solution kuch pata nahi…euugh!!!!..it’s a dirty feeling…

coz, i know i am failing a lot many people…a lot many expectations. i am sure i will do something worthy of my life…that eventually i will do what i want. if not the straight way then maybe after a detour. perhaps, what makes me more afraid is the fact that i might end up loosing some of the most prized people if i fail. as if, relationships depend on these trivial things…are they trivial? or does the dependence exist?…perhaps, it is more about me being able to face those people rather than they forgiving me…all they asked for is my success…and i wasn’t able to give it to them…scares the hell out of me…

then again, there is this feeling; that i should be working for my own self…not for anyone else…and then again there is this feeling: that fear is death…that i shouldn’t be afraid…these exams are no rocket science i know. anyone can do it with the right mind set…but what if this is not what i want to do…guess its too late for eliminating this wrong option.

i am sorry to all those whom i have failed and m failing…this is not what i wanted…pls don’t judge on the basis of my success on pen and paper…judge me as a human being.

to the few who matter the most…whom i can’t afford to loose

Am I Spiritual?

suddenly, out of the blue, i remember an FB comment…”i didn’t know u were so spiritual”. it really got me thinking. am i spiritual? coz, somewhere i believe, spirituality and laziness are like sour neighbors…never together. and perhaps i’m too lazy to be conventionally spiritual.

conventionally spiritual? yeah…like the 100s around me. or 1000s for that matter. people wake up early, have a bath the first thing. ok, maybe the second :P . before having anything, they do their puja. it’s nice. brings a routine and discipline into lives. maybe that’s what is the purpose behind it- enforcing a discipline. good hai naa. but the sad part is, i get disqualified on these grounds :(

i wake up late (that’s because i sleep late…wow!! what an excuse), i never have a fixed time for  bath. it’s not that i sit infront of the mandir daily though i should, at least for 5 mins. phew!!..serious lack in life.

but, i do a lot of temples. any deity. i just love the serenity, the dignified peace even it’s a chaos over there. i went last sunday…enjoyed ganges, enjoyed the peace of ramkrishna ji’s ashram. alas! i forgot to pray. i stood there and just thought “god! m so confused. i don’t now what i want to ask you for.” it happens with me always. i never know what i should tell him when i go to tell him. so, i do that as and when i remember.

does that qualify for spirituality? i guess not…

CAT Diaries

sitting for CAT…bass 3 din aur (i tried putting a smiley but could not find the exact one that would depict my state at the moment)

my journey began last year…seems like i wasted a lot of time not studying for it. but, there is no use crying over spilled milk…even Rowling’s magic won’t be able to bring it back to the bowl. but it has been nice never the less…career launcher has been a great milestone in my acad journey….not sure whether i’ll be able to get through this year or not. but, the association has been wonderful. more then the ratios and proportions of numbers, i got to know the angles and theorems that cover life…

met some wonderfully wonderful people on my way…people who changed the way i look at life…great teachers who motivated and inspired, who emphasized the importance of not giving up the fight…

these lines have always fascinated me

” stick to the fight when you are hardest hit,

it’s when things are worst that you must not quit, rest if u must but do not quit”

and..i have understood this better than ever with CL.

the events, the workshops, the teaching sessions…they are experiences and memories. moments that taught me the importance of wholesome learning, of intellect and knowledge and not mere knowing…that told me where i stand in the midst of all this (nowhere…no wholesome learning :P )

some friendships strengthened during this journey…some instances that have become eternal. though i never quite enjoyed studying for CAT, i liked the peregrination that i did, from knowing nothing to knowing something.

3 days from now, life won’t be very different. the sun will be the same, the sky will be the same, the breaths will be same. it is a test of not what i know but who i am…and that ‘who’ part takes a lifetime to develop. so…it will let me know where i need to go in life..it will tell me how i will reach that point…waiting for the kill..that will let me understand me better, understand life better :)

 

The Secrets of Success

disclaimer: it has been picked up from a video by career launcher…not my creation. i just happen to like it :)

success is about making a pass at opportunity,

success is about victory but not without learning,

success is about being comfortable in discomfort,

success is about fighting the urge to give up,

guts, sweat and blood mean success…it is not a coincidence, success is a MIND GAME.

success is not just about winning. it’s about starting the game and finishing it.

success is about you vs yourself!!!

success is about feeling dizzy with achievement

success is not just achieving your dreams but realizing your potential on the way

if you have never failed…u have never lived…

and here is the video :)