So Jaaon Main …. :)

Perfect for nocturnal people like me… a refuge wherein I hide… trying to find an excuse for not wanting to work and not wanting to sleep… and not wanting to do anything else whatsoever…

To whom I dedicate this song, I don’t know… Beautiful song anyway :) Enjoying it for the 5th time in a row now. For the Bollywoodly challenged people, it belongs to the awesome movie “Wo Lamhe” which, unfortunately, doesn’t have very awesome people… Blah!! Enjoy the song :)

So jaaon main…tum agar

Mere khwaabon mein aao…mere khwaabon mein aao

Kho jaaon main…Tum agar

Meri yaadon mein aao…meri yaadon mein aao

Jaagi nazar mein, soyi nazar mein…

Har pal sanam tum..jhilmilaao…

So jaaon main……..tum agar…..

Well honestly, no harm in listening to a song as a break from the rail budgets and the consecutive uprisings, is there??

Meri khushi mein..shaamil raho tum…

Is zindagi mein…shaamil raho tum…

Yoon toh hain laakhon armaan dil mein

Mehfil mein jaan-e-mehfil raho tum…

Hothon se mere…shaam savere..yunhi sanam tum

Muskurao…. :)

So jaaon main….

You know..falling in love is not so bad. Till the time it inspires you to move ahead and be a better person, it’s totally worth it… Unfortunately, it happens the other way round. I don’t the flip side of the coin; the one that makes people lose their smiles and move around like zombies. Love is a beautiful feeling and loved ones must always be cherished…a memory that makes you smile…. and that inspires the next few lines…

Banke sitara…aankhon mein chamko

In aate jaate…saanso mein meheko…

Bas jaao aake..tum meri jaan mein…

Dil banke mere..seene mein dhadko…

tumko mujhko chaho..bas mujhko chaho…

saare jahaan ko bhool jaao…

So jaaon main…. :)

Here’s the video ….well, just the audio :P

 

 

Surprised how a few songs don’t make me sleepy even after 10th straight play in a row. Guess I am crediting the wrong person after all. Maybe it’s my sleep that has ditched me today…

On a second thought, I would like to fall in love this way… but on a third thought, I have ages before this happens. Robert’s words in my style-

“Miles to go before I sleep (read love)

Miles to go before I sleep (read sleep) ”

Abhi dil bhara hua hai… haha… enough to love at the moment. I love sheila :) (voice of all singles)… Wish I see a dream and see exactly what I want to see…

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Brush strokes :)

Life is a canvas and we paint our own beautiful painting, we carve our own sculptures. Somewhere down the line, we all are artists of our own fate.

Read a line somewhere: today it may seem a vain line…but 10 years from now, u will eventually realise, that life is EXACTLY the way u want it to be, EXACTLY the way u see it…if u laugh, life is happy…if u cry, life is sad.

Back at home, when I go through my old days, my old things…it’s pure nostalgia and happiness…an amalgamation of ‘good good feeling’ and joy from the absence of regrets over anything…I feel glad for the things I did or the things I didn’t do…coz somewhere down the line I was correct for I have a beautiful life today, with beautiful people in it…

The moonlit sky studded with stars inspires me to go for it…the beauty is impeccable. It inspires me to paint…and I am doing the ‘magic painting’ that I used to do as a kid…wo aati hain naa special painting books…u only need to put water…wahi waali :P . And I am reminded of my childhood. But, now that I look around for an improvised perspective…a beautiful picture comes up “Life has all colors in it…u just need to put the right amount of water to get the desired effect…but careful!!!…too little and it becomes parched; too much and becomes smudged.”

I want to paint…I used to be a good enough painter. Don’t know where it disappeared. The confident brush strokes of my life…they are hiding somewhere in the busier picture. Will have to find them. I want to hold back to certain things that appealed me always…as a child, as a teenager…and I find Wordsworth’s lines so apt now that I think about it…should not we cherish the things that bring us joy forever. Never let go something that brings a smile on your face…. In Wordsworth’s worthy words:

My heart leaps up when I behold

A rainbow in the sky:

So was it when my life began

So is it now I am a man;

So be it when i shall grow old,

Or let me die!!!

Beginning or End

read somewhere ages ago “to the most advanced mind, death is but the next great adventure”…being a kid at that time, i happened to like it. i still do. because, somewhere down the line, it is in congruence with the higher truths of life…

but then, for once i would like to be not a learned and matured but a normal human being. death is loss and i can’t ravish in it. ever. any mention of death reminds me of march, 2004, the black friday (not sure whether it was friday) of my life…and many more associated with me. i woke up all excited for it was holi that day quite unaware of the fact that i will perhaps never play holi in my life again.

i woke up to learn of a loss in the family…an early loss. details, not necessary. my life has never been the same since. changed in a way quite invisible to others. yet, what gets me thinking is the suffering part. who suffers more in a death? the one who died or the ones left behind? very difficult to answer. we are left to walk on the memory lane and behold the pictures of beautiful glimpses…of times well spent…of near life experiences. fair or unfair?

true u go back to where u came from. true you submerge into the higher self. true u came from the ashes and u went back to it. but, as much as i try, i cannot comprehend the predicament of those who go to collect the ashes…perhaps i don’t want to. i know, i have miles to walk before i understand certain things. “everything that is created has to get destroyed” sounds good but doesn’t make me feel good. not at the moment at least…the flashback is too strong…a veil that doesn’t allow me look beyond the mundane.

life gives u a chance at being a phoenix only till u are alive…not thereafter. i find it difficult to live with this loss now that i am reminded of it.

A day to Remember !!!

wow feeling!!!

ever made a memory that will live beyond you? agar banayi hai toh u would know what i mean. and if u haven’t made anything of that sort yet; don’t worry…life is long for you. memories hi nahi banai…zindagi lambi toh lagegi hii naa

yesterday was so awesome…pepperchino, mama, mumma…the ride, the ganges and the photo session…even the cranky boat wallah seemed so hilarious…the rude chai wallah seemed so sabhya. essence of bengal with punjabi and bihari tadka…from a rajashthani point of view :) wow…totally fab!!!

the humor was out of the world. but the most beautiful moments that would be so difficult to describe would all be the ones in the math and the temple. show stoppers of the day. it is so true to the word: there is maximum peace at the feet of the almighty…where all predicaments get answered, where the soul rinses itself off the mundane dirt…there is immense tranquility in the vistas of godly presence…all one needs is an honest effort to map the horizons.

spiritual fun at it’s best…the memory is perfect because it has perfect people…and finally some awesome clicks of the day :)

bally bridge

sunset over ganges

sunset over ganges

dakshineshwar ghat

dakshineshwar ghat

belur math

belur math main temple

CAT Diaries

sitting for CAT…bass 3 din aur (i tried putting a smiley but could not find the exact one that would depict my state at the moment)

my journey began last year…seems like i wasted a lot of time not studying for it. but, there is no use crying over spilled milk…even Rowling’s magic won’t be able to bring it back to the bowl. but it has been nice never the less…career launcher has been a great milestone in my acad journey….not sure whether i’ll be able to get through this year or not. but, the association has been wonderful. more then the ratios and proportions of numbers, i got to know the angles and theorems that cover life…

met some wonderfully wonderful people on my way…people who changed the way i look at life…great teachers who motivated and inspired, who emphasized the importance of not giving up the fight…

these lines have always fascinated me

” stick to the fight when you are hardest hit,

it’s when things are worst that you must not quit, rest if u must but do not quit”

and..i have understood this better than ever with CL.

the events, the workshops, the teaching sessions…they are experiences and memories. moments that taught me the importance of wholesome learning, of intellect and knowledge and not mere knowing…that told me where i stand in the midst of all this (nowhere…no wholesome learning :P )

some friendships strengthened during this journey…some instances that have become eternal. though i never quite enjoyed studying for CAT, i liked the peregrination that i did, from knowing nothing to knowing something.

3 days from now, life won’t be very different. the sun will be the same, the sky will be the same, the breaths will be same. it is a test of not what i know but who i am…and that ‘who’ part takes a lifetime to develop. so…it will let me know where i need to go in life..it will tell me how i will reach that point…waiting for the kill..that will let me understand me better, understand life better :)

 

My Soul..

her smile makes my day beautiful,

her laughter makes my music…

her beauty makes my heart

her being makes my life…..

to the woman who taught me the meaning of selfless love…

you add beauty to my life just by breathing, just by being yourself. every smile that you smile makes me happy beyond ecstasy, every laughter that u laugh is music to my heart, every little emotion of yours is all i live for…your happiness is all i pray for….

i may not always be the company u crave for but i could happily slip to non-existence for you…just for the moment so that i can always watch over you..making sure u are safe or not

i may not always be the person you want to talk to but i could remain silent forever just to listen to your heartbeat….

i may not always be the person whose pain pains you..but your pain and tear have the immense power of tarnishing me to pieces without a scratch

i may not always be the person you miss and hug..but i always want to hug you when you come back from work…i always miss you the very moment you leave me….

i may not be the person you love much..but you are more than just my love..my existence…you are my soul to me…

i may not always have the courage to tell you any of this ever..but whenever i look up to you, this is all i wish i could say…i wish i could hug you and say…how much i love you…how much you mean to me…coz you are my soul

Walks Down the Memory Lane

walking down the memory lane…not always same for everyone…yet the feeling is quite same..whether u like the walk or u dont. it certainly does represent a life left behind, a friend long lost, an era gone by. it makes us go through things that we love so much..things that we avoid so much..things that we want to forget yet we cling to…expectedly, believably and yet surprisingly strange these ‘walk down the memory lanes……’ are

a walk through the school days…aahh…would certainly be like the lament of an eternal loss. there is nothing more mundane than the realisation of that loss that was so much the opposite. yet when we are at school we wanna grow up and when we grow up we wanna be back to square 1. wow. even human beings are strange. strangest to be honest.

a walk through the memories of that special someone….for those who dont have that person now in their lives, dnt worry..the memories are still there..but then u have nothing else…so u decide what u want to be with…moving over is totally yr choice, an option none else but u have. and for those who have that person…congratulations…life cannot get better

and…a walk through the memories of home…when u are far away…its the thing that persists the most…good and bad..every thing seems so perfect back there and so shitty out here…its when u realise how tasty yr mom cooks, how best yr dad is, how yr sibling was the tamest person u ever met..how pampered and cared for u were, how u got things u did nt deserve to get…home is certainly the best place…to chill out, to vent out, to clear out, to mend and to keep sane, the things that go wrong…

these walks are simply awesome even if the walk is down the bitter ones…reminds u who u are, what u did, what u want to do, what u could do in life….

these walks are truly…..walks of remembrances….walks to remember.

Awesome Mausam…

its amazing how a good weather can create awesome moments….and to add on to it if u get good company one could ask for nothing better…

such is the weather of calcutta at the moment…totally awesome. after all calcutta has a nice weather once in a blue moon…a respite from the sticky, sweaty and despicaply humid winds of calcutta have come in the form of rains, cool breeze and a good good feeling. its very rare that u let your hair down and walk freely on the streets with no reason to fear the scorching sun for a change…that u want to feel the feel of calcutta..that u actually say “today i want to walk…mausam accha hai aaj”…hmm…maybe someone above is very happy…though i find no reson why this should be so..specially after what happened at park street…who knows!!!