I am always into a love-hate relationship with myself. Mostly I love myself. We all should. But sometimes I hate. And that hatred has more intensity than the love. It is then that some other part of me tells me candidly – where I went wrong in life. What could have I improved. Where I need to improve.
Today was one of those days. I hated myself for so many things I did/was doing. Spent the whole day with a dilapidated and rotten face, cursing my own self for no reason; Hell ! we all do mistakes. Don’t we ? Then why did I find myself unable to forgive myself today ?
Too many questions. I cribbed more. Felt like throwing things. Felt like shouting on top of my voice. Was shouting still maybe with the mute button switched on. Perhaps, I just needed to vent it out; talk to someone who had enough time to just listen to me and not make judgments, not give suggestions… Just listen. May be I needed to be told a few things like – it is okay to commit mistakes. We are still fine. And then it just came to me. I just needed to write down. My pen and paper (the visual editor of my blog in this case) won’t judge me
Was just thinking, what mistakes make us crib the most in life. Jotting down a few. Experiences out of the little that I have seen/understood people.
- It is okay to have dreamed big but not to have worked towards it for may be 2 days. But, if the 3 rd day again you do not work on it, do not start giving your 100%, it is not okay. Yes, not giving your 100% is a mistake. Always.
- It is okay to have loved your people like mads and it is okay to have cared for them. It is also okay to care and pray but may be not show. But it is not okay to have stopped caring. That is a mistake. Because, when you care for someone really loved, it teaches you to be humble.
- It is okay to have fought with a friend over another friend. But it is not okay to be angry forever. Friendship happens for a reason. Friends are the family we choose. And when it comes to the best of friends, these things happen don’t they ? Not remaining friends is a mistake. Yes. It is.
- It is okay to be madly mad at people, to be jealous when someone else makes them happy and you cannot. It is okay to have felt ignored and not cared for. But it is not okay to end up doing something permanently damaging to their lives in that fit of rage. That is a mistake.
- It is okay to be an emotional person. But it is not okay to impose your emotions on anyone. It makes you a despised person. That is a mistake. Wait, your chance will come to say out loud. And if it doesn’t then write. But do not be an ugly scar on someone’s emotional canvas. That is BIG mistake.
- It is okay to be lazy for a day or two, to have taken a cab to work instead of a bus because you got up late, to have kept the washing for the day at bay because you didn’t feel like, to have left the room to be messy, to have squandered that extra minute doing absolutely useless stuff. But, it is not okay to let these things happen daily and mess up your life. That is a mistake.
- It is absolutely okay to have loved and lost. But it is not okay to not have loved at all. More importantly, it is not okay to have stopped loving because of the loss. Love is a beautifully inspiring virtue. And true love is motivational and independent of togetherness. Surely, losing your motivation is a mistake.
- It is okay to have committed so many mistakes. But is not okay to have caused hurt to someone else because of your mistakes. More importantly, it is not okay to have committed the same mistakes again. And most importantly, it is not okay to have not picked the lesson with the mistake. That is the biggest mistake.
As long as life goes, mistakes will happen. It is important to forgive oneself and move on