There are various kinds of ‘wanting more’. While we all agree that aspiration is great, the kind of ‘wanting more’ that I am talking about is the expectations we have from people. The problem is that it is never ending, that we always want more.

And the real problem is not even about wanting more. It is about wanting what someone else has because it looks so good from a distance.

Regardless of what we say or make ourselves believe – we always want someone else’s life. We want to be friends with someone like they are with someone else because what we have is not enough. We want to be loved by someone in a way we think is perfect because we have seen someone else through the perfection setting of our lenses. The word here is, ‘OUR’.

We want things that we think are perfect in other people’s lives. Because we can’t make peace with what we have. We want to be in people’s lives in a way we want. We forget that it is their life and their right to decide who is going to be in it in which level of importance.

We basically lack the courage, to let people have their own way of being with us, of loving us, of being friends with us, of being there for us. Not everyone’s way is our way. We lose our peace of mind when we forget that. We should never forget that.

Find that courage. Make that peace with your own self, else it will meddle with many other important things. Because, people are always irreplaceable. You can’t really judge them on a scale of importance.

We struggle all our lives to keep it simple. The key probably is – not fighting for the most important place in someone’s life. Rather, creating your own small place that is irreplaceable, however small. Aim for a unique place, not necessarily the top most. Besides, topping every list could be a daunting task!

Let me share a small story with you, mentioned in the book ‘Adultery’ :
story
Wanting more is great. But, in the process, we shouldn’t forget that we can change our circumstances, the ways in which we can improve and be our own version of perfect rather than being someone else’s perfect. There is no use chasing perfection. Because, perfection, like truth, cannot be absolute. Not when nothing else is absolute.

“There is your truth and there is my truth. As for universal truth, it does not exist.”

Our perfections and our truths – and our perception of someone else’s perfections – all exist in our psyches only. These are all benchmarks. And benchmarks, like opinions and time on our wrist watches – are relative, different, unique.

Want more – but want more in terms of your own reference points. Chase your own perfection, not someone else’s.

 

3 thoughts on “The ‘Wanting More’

  1. Wow!!! Iam a fan of your posts, each of them so deeply though and articulately written. Keep writing more. I was thinking yesterday about the mirror of Erised and how similar the concept is to the Nishkama karma of The Gita and googled to see if anyone had thought something similar and I stumbled across your blog. And boy! am I glad I did :-)

  2. touched! this is something which was going inside me from past few days …
    I was busy fighting for my importance in someone’s life …maybe in that fight I have lost what I had ..maybe I had that small irreplaceable place in his life …
    the person is still important ..holds the same place in my life but now I lack courage to approach..i’am afraid I ll ruin more .. I ll ruin the peace again !

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