The ‘Wanting More’

There are various kinds of ‘wanting more’. While we all agree that aspiration is great, the kind of ‘wanting more’ that I am talking about is the expectations we have from people. The problem is that it is never ending, that we always want more.

And the real problem is not even about wanting more. It is about wanting what someone else has because it looks so good from a distance.

Regardless of what we say or make ourselves believe – we always want someone else’s life. We want to be friends with someone like they are with someone else because what we have is not enough. We want to be loved by someone in a way we think is perfect because we have seen someone else through the perfection setting of our lenses. The word here is, ‘OUR’.

We want things that we think are perfect in other people’s lives. Because we can’t make peace with what we have. We want to be in people’s lives in a way we want. We forget that it is their life and their right to decide who is going to be in it in which level of importance.

We basically lack the courage, to let people have their own way of being with us, of loving us, of being friends with us, of being there for us. Not everyone’s way is our way. We lose our peace of mind when we forget that. We should never forget that.

Find that courage. Make that peace with your own self, else it will meddle with many other important things. Because, people are always irreplaceable. You can’t really judge them on a scale of importance.

We struggle all our lives to keep it simple. The key probably is – not fighting for the most important place in someone’s life. Rather, creating your own small place that is irreplaceable, however small. Aim for a unique place, not necessarily the top most. Besides, topping every list could be a daunting task!

Let me share a small story with you, mentioned in the book ‘Adultery’ :
Wanting more is great. But, in the process, we shouldn’t forget that we can change our circumstances, the ways in which we can improve and be our own version of perfect rather than being someone else’s perfect. There is no use chasing perfection. Because, perfection, like truth, cannot be absolute. Not when nothing else is absolute.

“There is your truth and there is my truth. As for universal truth, it does not exist.”

Our perfections and our truths – and our perception of someone else’s perfections – all exist in our psyches only. These are all benchmarks. And benchmarks, like opinions and time on our wrist watches – are relative, different, unique.

Want more – but want more in terms of your own reference points. Chase your own perfection, not someone else’s.


My Andaman Impressions

I wrote this article for ( This article and much more on Andaman & Nicobar Islands can be found there as well)

There were many things that made me lose my heart to the place called Andamans. One of them was this mesmerizing picture. It has left a mark like none other and has inspired this small little write up on ‘What I expect out of my holiday in Andaman & Nicobar Islands’.

clip image002 thumb A place where you listen to nature   My Andaman Impressions

As I closed my eyes, this is all I could imagine …

The serene beach…

The greens, blues, whites, browns… the hues of the golden Sun…

The salty smell of the waters which was sweeter than honeysuckle…

The crunch of gravel and then the softness of the wet sand…

The perfect shape of my small footprints on the soil…

The soft touch of the flowers that my feet could feel as I tread on them, strewn all over the beach…

The beauty of what I saw when I closed my eyes for a moment to savor this…

It was like Andamans was making an irrevocable imprint on my soul, a mark of beauty, a mark of Life.

I have always imagined my morning to be like this whenever I get to holiday in Andamans. The Emerald Isle (better known as Andaman & Nicobar Islands) has always been one of the dream holiday destinations. And everytime I think of it, all I do is ‘smile’ and ‘anticipate’; whether it will be more beautiful than my imaginations or much more beautiful. Being less than what I think, is not a possibility, I am sure. 🙂

Andamans was already reaching up to my soul… mending repairs with each step that I took towards the sea. The horizon far ahead had a strange magnetic pull to it; as if the crashing waves had a lesson to teach, an answer to preach. The persistence of the beauty that I was witnessing and the song that nature was playing for me- were spelling perfection for me. At that very moment my feet met the water. The cool blue water. Had I known Bliss before? May be yes. May be no. But this moment was one of its kind.

I was having a rendezvous with life. Khayyam saab’s words reverbated in my ears – “Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”

I closed my eyes and spread my hands to welcome the warmth that I was witnessing. The feel of embracing the winds, the light, the music – I felt as if I was being untangled ! The serene, impeccably clean and quiet beach of a far off island by the name Andaman was teaching me a great lesson of life – life is beautiful, very beautiful. If only you know how to celebrate the small, random things in life.

I was happy. Happy as I allowed ‘me’ to take over my own self while squatting at the beach for like hours, looking at passers by taking a stroll at the beach. Happy as I made doodles and meaningless pattern on the wet sand and saw them being washed away by the ferociously beautiful waves. Happy when the waves brought me back a beautiful stray shell as a memoir.

I was happy that I was having the best conversation with myself, that I was finding some part of myself which I had lost somewhere in the pace of life. I was happy that I was making friends with my best friend – myself!

I am not much of an adventure person. Yet, the coral reefs are the second priority on my list of to dos during this holiday. If I am done with romancing nature, I would definitely want to have a look at these marvels of nature. A fortnight or may be more, of ceaseless vistas of blue and beauty would be a perfect window to rejuvenate and emerge. A beach cottage would perhaps be the perfect place to be known as home then.

Andamans is different things for different people. Romantic getaways, adventure getaways, exploration getaways – you name it and you will find something in Andamans for sure. I do not know whether I go with friends or family. But, I know that I will have my moments of solitude. For me, it will always be a journey of finding peace, even if momentary. It is the place where I would want the mind and heart to come to confluence. In solidarity I would like to have the best companionship of my own self in a place like Andaman. It is where I am sure to find respite from life, where I am sure to find a better, simpler and more wanted life.

Am I Spiritual?

suddenly, out of the blue, i remember an FB comment…”i didn’t know u were so spiritual”. it really got me thinking. am i spiritual? coz, somewhere i believe, spirituality and laziness are like sour neighbors…never together. and perhaps i’m too lazy to be conventionally spiritual.

conventionally spiritual? yeah…like the 100s around me. or 1000s for that matter. people wake up early, have a bath the first thing. ok, maybe the second 😛 . before having anything, they do their puja. it’s nice. brings a routine and discipline into lives. maybe that’s what is the purpose behind it- enforcing a discipline. good hai naa. but the sad part is, i get disqualified on these grounds 🙁

i wake up late (that’s because i sleep late…wow!! what an excuse), i never have a fixed time for  bath. it’s not that i sit infront of the mandir daily though i should, at least for 5 mins. phew!!..serious lack in life.

but, i do a lot of temples. any deity. i just love the serenity, the dignified peace even it’s a chaos over there. i went last sunday…enjoyed ganges, enjoyed the peace of ramkrishna ji’s ashram. alas! i forgot to pray. i stood there and just thought “god! m so confused. i don’t now what i want to ask you for.” it happens with me always. i never know what i should tell him when i go to tell him. so, i do that as and when i remember.

does that qualify for spirituality? i guess not…

Puri Rewind

back from a well deserved holiday, all tanned and black, when i reflect upon my experience, i find it to be quite awesome and serene. beaches are incomparably beautiful. the breeze, the waves, the sunshine and the moonlight…all have a soothing effect…so inviting that a lazy drag like me woke up before sunrise and ran down to the beach to see the rising sun. went down with all the camera phones for a photo session..and had an awesome one too. sunrise from all angles, names of my favourite people on freshly wet, sunlit sand, me n mom doing sand architecture, mom n papa, me with the sun in my palm….the list just goes on…

and when the rest of the group joined, my favourite part came…attack on the sea waters for the second consecutive day. we had a blast with the beach bath…none of us minding the salty sea water choking the whole system for a few seconds every time a huge wave hit us hard(it was a hight tide…both days…fortunately). the aunties safely near the shore, the uncles at some distance, the girls(me and two more) a little further, and the boys(phew…!!!!) invisible at times(they had to be called back everytime someone spotted them)…all had huge fun. sand balls were thrown, people were dragged into the water, pushed headlong into oncoming waves, bundled in black tubes  and what not(all under strict supervision of the puri beach life guards).

the women pampered themselves at the spa, men at the beach(massage…by men) and the children at the pool..had an awesome konark trip accompanied with the beautiful night time view of the bay of bengal at ‘chandrabhaga’ point( full moon)…there’s so much to say it that it wont fit in here. but the one thing i remember very vividly is a statement by my sophomore of a brother at the chandrabhaga point:

” the intangibility of these waves is a mockery to the omnipresent tangibility of those beholding this beauty called nature”……


one of the greatest romantic poets of all time, Alfred Lord Tennyson is one of my favourites too. so i post the best of his lines…

this one’s from-“the brook”

“i chatter chatter as i flow, to join the brimming river

for men may come and men may go, but i go on forever”

no idea which poem these belong to, but awesome lines anyway-

” i hold it true whatever befalls,

i feel it when i sorrow most,

tis better to have loved and lost,

than never to have loved at all”

hats off!!!…exceptional poetry

the serene Ganges

Ganges..thats what i saw for about 7 hrs today….courtesy my college picnic. we boarded the steamers booked for us at 8:30 from the docks. not elaborating further on the steamers, the experience was quite awesome. the weather was nice, though occasional shifts were there. a cool breeze, little sun…the weather was actually sexy, perfect for a steamer party.

jahan hum aur hamare dost milte hain wahan nach to hota hi hai…the DJ sucked but we had fun dancing at the front area. the food sucked too…but the best part was the river. so calm, and quiet…peaceful and serene. we could just stand at the edge forever and keep looking at the flowing water. the feel of the wind caressing you, of your hair flowing gently, of letting the beauty seep in…was awesome.

but if u saw the beauty u couldn’t possibly miss the mess the holy river of india is in. the water was very dirty and polluted..rubbish of all kinds floated on the surface and it had a very dirty and greenish tinge to it. it is shameful that we could not and we did not do anything for it. it’s not very early but neither to late..we could always make an effort…dil se…

on special request

ita ghalib ki shayri…for the one who requested…i dnt have the old one but hope u like this..

” kisiko mukkammal jahaan nahi milta….

kahin zameen to kahin aasmaan nahi milta….

jise dekhiye wo apne aap mein gum hai..

zubaan mili hai par humzubaan nahi milta…

bujha saka hai bhala kaun waqt ke shole…

ye aisi aag hai jisme dhuaan nahi milta…

tere jahan mein aisa to nahi ki pyaar naa ho…

jahaan umeed ho utna wahan nahi milta…”

……….waah waah…well honestly, awesome lines

faith n future

when u have faith u have complete faith…otherwise u dont have it

so it’s either you believe or u don’t. and everyone has their own prized set..what’s wrong in it. i write it coz just as a flashback i remember my first extempore…the topic was ‘what would u do if u could see yr future’…

i said i would be more ready to face it…no matter what i do it would be a foolish thing to try and change it…it’s all written..even if we know something, our course of actions will take us to that point in life no matter how hard we try to prevent it or run away from it…you write your own future by doing what u are doing today…

but where does it connect with faith..i would not have faith in the art of future telling…i would have faith, rather, in the person who does it…his intentions behind doing it…of course believing what hasn’t happened yet is hard core stupidity..but letting things fall in place as and when they are supposed to…just sitting back and watching(sometimes) is all one can do…i do it sometimes…n things do fall in place…coz what has to happen will happen anyhow…we just need to wait and watch…

fizool lamha…

ideally it shd have been in hindi…but i dont know how to do that…no probs…english mein hi kaam chala lenge

“tumhe bhi yaad nahi, aur main bhi bhool gaya….

wo lamha bahut haseen tha, magar fizool gaya….”

simply awsm lines…sorry goutam bhaiya…i really pick up yr words and ideas…but they are so nice…i luvd the one u posted n thought about adding another of that kind

valentine special…

like an unseen dream, the night goes by

the emptiness waits, as the stars shine bright

in this anticipation, in this standing by

i let somethings go…i hold some tight

this wait for a new beginning

encompasses the eternity

yet when the eyes open

just a moment has gone by…just a jiffy

wilder than the dreams, the little heart races by

and the mind contemplates…why wait? why?

for somewhere deep down, it very well knows

what’s coming up and what’s passing by…

yet these myriad of dreams..of hopes never die

in the vistas of depth…

where quenches the thirst??……..where the oasis lie??

it lets go….then holds back

it loves deeply….yet fears wrath

it loves the el-dorado…it loves the fall

it gets over everything….yet doesn’t move at all……..

-arunima shah