If my IIM L were a Person

Shaam bhi koi, jaise hai nadi...

Shaam bhi koi, jaise hai nadi…

If my IIM L were a person…

He would be my toughest good bye.
I would keep going past his home,
Wishing for one hug good bye
Waiting for that beautiful high

I would memorize each and every corner
Like I am burning him in my memory
Learn his contours, his smile
Like my own reflection, my ‘chokher bali’*

I would stare into his eyes
And speak a thousand silent words
I would wake up to the impeccable beauty
Of him as the gorgeous night ends

I would steal his perfume
Capture it in a vintage flask
It would be my refuge, my escape
When tough questions, life does ask

In his loving, warm embrace
I would find my peace
The world would stop for a moment
And I would melt and ease

He would teach me true love
Unconditionally, like an unbreakable vow
He would keep loving me
No matter when, no matter how

I would see him through times good and bad
Through praise, through criticism, through scrutiny
He would still always be my person
Through years, centuries, many a destiny

I know this is not the end
With some, there is a life time
It’s not just him I love
But his existence too, through space and time

If my IIM L were a person…
If my IIM L were a person…
I would wait for that final kiss
One final hug good bye!

……………….

A small ode to my beloved beloved campus on my very last day. What started as a brief affair, is ending with the beginning of a life time of romance ahead. As much as I try, I am not able to put in words (or even my own expressions) the terrible amount of love I have for this place, what it has given me, who it has given me as people in my life. I am leaving a part of my soul behind in this place. And carrying a little of it with me. Forever.

Is it normal to love a place so much?

I guess it is. Because IIM Lucknow is not a place anymore. It’s an emotion. It is love. It is home. It always will be.

Ending with a line that I have come to love so much,

जितनी तू मिलती जाए
उतनी लगे थोड़ी थोड़ी…

….

* Chokher Bali –

a. Literally translates to a dust particle in the eye
b. One of the many famous works of Rabindranath Tagore; love that costs you but you still keep loving

Silhouette Memory

A little background:

It’s a poem that I came across while taking a walk down the memory lane. In a not-dusty corner of an old drawer (because, you know, mothers clean everything 😛 ) back at home, I found my dusty, yellowing old diary. It smells of old pages and childhood stupidities. And it also looks like my progress report, from literature that has appealed me as a naive kid to literature that has appealed me as a useless teenager 😀

Not much progress, if I must say.

I found this poem among those pages. It was written in 2004 on a train journey back from a one day school trip to Bhubaneshwar (a luxury and a delight back then). The idea of listening to the ‘discourse’ of teachers back then somehow appealed to me a lot (kind of explains the career choice I have made for myself). And that’s why, one would have found me on that cold winter evening sharing a coop with a few teachers and some unwilling, reluctant friends whom I dragged along with me. Best 3 hrs of my life!

It was in this time, this era, that this poem was written. Patro Sir (our Odiya teacher) wrote this, in what seems like a thoughtful, ephemeral epoch which was inspired by an undisturbed seating beside the window with the cold winter wind stirring those deeply settled emotions. He retrieved it from the fathoms of his thoughts on paper in Odiya. And then Mishra Sir (English teacher) translated it for the benefit of the less able like me. I am having to assume that he knew Patro Sir fairly well (they are neighbors, till date) for the remark that “It’s almost as if I have written it.” had been made after he went through the translation. For only the one who knows the poet well can translate poetry with such accuracy. Rest is just speculation.

As for me, I quickly copied the poem because I knew there will be a day, far away from that day, when I would understand the poem. I am just glad I had access to paper that day. Needless to say, this was the best part of the trip.

Enough with the background. Here’s the poem:

Perhaps thou…
To this unification of time
These ecstasy and sensations
In this eternal kingship
Of rope
Will tie

Or

Being selfish
To the ingredients of solitary progress of longings
Gathering & gathering
Will wipe it out.

Today’s memory within
Tomorrow’s
Self centered endless deeds

But,

I will store in my mind
With secret care
In an iron box,
Or made of silver
In a gold covering
Today’s memory.

If I get relaxation,
From the materialistic world’s
Fixed routines
I shall open
Very often
In solitude,
When you will come
To my memory
In your present
Or past.

Your silhouette memory. 

~ U. C. Patro (Translated by Sribatsa Mishra)

P.S – For the ones with a challenged vocabulary, Silhouette [sil-oo-et] means an outline or a shape (for e.g. taking a picture against the sun would give you a beautiful silhouette. For reference, check the blog header.)

The Night. Tonight.

The night is cold.
Kind of bitter. I don’t know why …

Probably it has lost its warmth.
Probably it is in pain, of something slipping away.

As if, trying to search for a lost treasure,
A treasure that’s worth more than constellations,
A treasure that’s worth nothing to anyone else other than the night.

The night is silent.
Kind of like a lament. For having become the night.

Probably it misses being the morning,
Probably it needs to mean the same dawn to someone’s eyes.

As if trying to stash away all the hurt,
In a dark, empty corner.
As if trying to keep all those words on bay, that mean everything yet nothing…

The night is solemn.
Waiting to be the morning again. Waiting to be itself again.

Probably it wants to hold on to dawn, but doesn’t know how.
Probably, it wants to love the dawn and its skies, in it’s own twisted, selfish, dark way.
And it doesn’t know how.

Probably the night, the silent, dark, cold night – wants too many things.
And doesn’t know how to get any. That’s why it is silent.

The night is lovely too.
And kind of ordinary. Among the more extra-ordinary nights.

Like every lover, it believed it is extra-ordinary. But it is not.
Today it has shattered its own reflection.

Cold. Solemn. Silent.
The night is, tonight.

I wish I could…

i wish

I wish I could show you,
The depth of my love
I vouch it would beat a 1000 Marianas*
And reach a 1000 skies above.

I wish I could tell you,
How your love adds serenity
Alas! There’s no measurement
Perhaps, it is like infinity.

I wish I could find words,
To tell you how I feel
But, words would limit my world
Which is beyond all vistas, and too surreal.

I wish I had the courage,
To let you go away
But I know, this I have to do
I am sure, I too will move away.

I wish I would ever fall in love again,
I know that’s impossible too
For women love only once
There’s nothing much I can do!

* Marianas : Refers to Mariana trench which is the deepest part of the World’s oceans, located in the western Pacific Ocean.

P.S : It’s an old poem. Found it while looking for other things which I obviously couldn’t find 🙂

 

Shayari Waala Love :)

That awesome moment when you find that you and your friend have that same ‘awesome’ waala love for Shayaris. And then you spend the whole day discussing your favorite ones.

Those who love shayaris (Couplets in Hindi / Urdu) know that they have the power to express your feelings in 4 lines – something you cannot somehow do in may be 4 pages. They have the power to melt you, to make you fall in love all over again with the same person you have always loved, to remind me you of all the sweet bitter memories, to make you appreciate love…

Some say they fall in love only to be able to bathe in the awesomeness of those awesome couplets. I couldn’t agree more. As I remembered my favorite shayaris today, I came upon this one below. It has to be here before it gets lost from my repertoire.

An old song, an all time favorite. You will enjoy it if you love ‘Shayaris’ 🙂

Tumhare shehar ka mausam bada suhana lage
Mai ek sham chura loon agar bura na lage

Tumhare bas mei agar ho to bhool jao hume
Tumhe bhoolne mei shayad mujhe zamana lage

Hamare pyar se jalne lagi hai ye duniya
Dua karo kisi dushman ki bad-dua na lage

Na jaane kya hai uski bebaak aankho mei
Vo mooh chhupa ke jaaye bhi to bewafa na lage

Jo doobna hai to itne sukoon se dubo
Ke aas-paas ki leharon ko bhi pata na lage

Ho jis adaa se mere saath bewafayi kar
Ke tere baad mujhe koi bewafaa na lage

Wo phool jo mere daaman se ho gaye mansoob
Khudaa kare unhe bazaar ki hawa na lage

Tum aankh moond ke pi jao zindagi ‘Qaiser’
Ke ek ghoont mein shayad ye bad-maza na lage

There is an ‘Ishq waala love’ and there is a ‘Shayari waala love’. I would rather be in the second one <3

Choti Choti Baatein …

Somehow, the poems that I wrote in maximum 5 minutes are the ones I like the most from all my work. This too is one of them. Inspiration credits at the end 🙂

https://greatstorybook.com/fqbffrf6 Logon ki zindagi mein, jaane kya kya ho jaata hai
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Hum marks, exams aur teachers ko sirf gaaliyaan dete hain

Koi baarish ke paani mein nach kar, dil ki pyaas bujhaata hai
Hum keechad ko dekh rote hain

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Kisi ke paas zindagi ke naam pe kuch nahi, fir bhi woh hansta hai
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Inspiration credits : All those people who keep crying on their FB statuses 😛

Ye Inaayatein Gazab Ki !!

2 am blogging is an absolutely mad but a ‘smile creating’ experience. Lived it many times. Living it again.

This post again, is on poems, shayri… Ghazal this time; along with lyrics and video and a ‘nearly okayish translation’ (forgive any mistakes. The translation has been aided by google. If anyone who knows Urdu could give a proper translation, would be great) … Here it is –

https://www.newcirclecircular.com/gy16e03htf Ye inaayatein ghazab ki  (The strangeness of favor)
Ye bala ki meherbaani  (The obligation / misfortune)
https://greatstorybook.com/5181z5ie Meri khairiyat bhi poochi  ( He asked my well being)
Kisi aur ki zubaani  (But through someone else)
Order Tramadol With Mastercard Meri bezubaan aankhon se  (Through my speechless eyes)
https://www.innova-pain.com/2023/04/19/2gj6pjk Gire jo chand katre  (Fell a few teardrops)
Jo samajh sako toh aansu  (If you understand, they are tears)
https://highland-outdoors.com/1ub336h4 Naa samajh sako toh paani  (If you don’t, they are just water)
https://madridbullfight.com/w4a9gx3932 Mere khoon-e-aarzoo ko  (My blood which has imbibed love)
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https://highland-outdoors.com/y9gzk8q Kisi aur ki zubaani  (From someone else)
https://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/ar32yng76 Teri subah keh rahi hai  (Your morning is the witness)
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Ye bala ki meherbaani …  

The lyrics are just not enough. You have to listen to this FAB song …

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NF9bz4PXzo]

Ek aur Shayari :)

Rajshree Singh. This post wouldn’t have been possible without you 🙂

To you !!

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dekh zara wo tera talabgar kitna hai,
Mat le uske ishq ka imtehan
Bata usko ke wo tera hakdar kitna hai….

 

For those who don’t understand Hindi ; here is the translation of the poem 🙂

Don’t judge your man by the charges he has on him,
Rather, see how faithful he is with you…
Don’t think about the hatred he has for others,
Rather, see the depth of his love for YOU…
Don’t ponder over why he is so lonely in this world,
Rather, see the time he spends waiting for you…
Sure, your man has no other possessions apart from you,
But, appreciate the amount of claim he has on you…
Don’t try to test his LOVE for you
Just tell him how he rightfully owns you 🙂

(Men – change the gender. It may fit into your life as well 🙂 )

Disclaimer – I do not know who wrote this shayri. I didn’t 😛

Is this me ? I guess so …

I am not fond of very loud music…
Am I boring ? I guess so…

I am not fond of partying
Am I old fashioned ? May be…

I don’t drink or smoke or like those who do …
Am I backward ? Shayad …

I don’t talk much these days
Am I reserved ? Perhaps…

I talk quietly to my own self most of the times..
Am I busy ? It is for you to decide…

I write more than I talk…
Am I a recluse ? Whatever !

I like my birthdays to be a real quiet affair…
Am I not allowed to chose it to be so ? May be not…

I prefer to spend more on books than on clothes…
Am I a book worm ? I am 🙂

I am not much into fine dining.
Am I non – explorative ? Doesn’t matter …

I spend maximum of my Sundays at home
Am I not happening ? Theek hai koi baat nahi

Is this me ? I guess so..
Is there more to me ? Yes, I guess so…

 

The way I Love You …

I wrote this poem ages ago… another find from the relics of my collection.

I wrote this on behalf of some friend ( Don’t remember exactly 😛 )

It’s irrevocable
The way I love you
I love you so much
As if, everywhere it’s you… only you

From me comes an aura
That reminds me of you
My energy, my life… my soul
All start from you & end in you…

The pain that grips you there
Breaks me every moment here
An eternity passed with each second
When I knew I couldn’t care…when I wasn’t there

The supple beauty of your touch
The forever present warmth
Feels like a beautiful era bygone
My heart refuses.. It just can’t move on

I fear I will forget your face
It is the only treasure I have
I fear the memories will slip away
In them I find all the courage I have…

My laughter, my eyes, my smile…
They miss the profound beauty of your love
My very incomplete soul misses,
The perfection in having you, my Love !

Crazy, it has to be – the way I love you
The best thing, about me – is YOU
Irrevocable, immutable, unchangeable, absolute
It is every day that I thank God – he brought me you 🙂

……………………………..

Another poem – I love it when